Performing Daily Activities

Billy was alone and doing the wash. "Don't forget to put the washing machine on Gentle Cycle", a thought statement automatically appearing every time he did the wash for the last 14 years. His wife usually added after that, "you should be lucky because most husbands don't have a wife who did their laundry including folding your underwear". It was beyond micro-management. As if he hadn't done laundry for forty years or lived out of the laundry basket. It was frustrating.

Billy was thinking there must be a way not to get so disturbed by the nitpicking, as domesticity was her God given domain and men needed to be told every fucking time they ventured to wash a dish, vacuum the rug, close the refrigerator, make a bed or boil some water. That was her craziness. Billy was wondering if all wives had to similarly instruct their husbands. However, if he was hanging a picture or changing a tire she would be mute on the subject. Which proved that it was her problem. He preferred otherwise but it wasn't going to happen, so why get upset?

Would the world end if Billy washed the clothes on Brights and dried on High heat by accident? Maybe that t-shirt would fit snugly next time, but we'd still have clean clothes to wear.

Billy was displeased and disappointed. He'd just had to find other things to enjoy. The wash was insignificant.

Thanksgiving Peeler

Peeling potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner. So many, Billy sighed. Breathing in, breathing out, peeling up, peeling down and watch those fingers too, he thought. Let's not repeat last years excitement of spilled blood all over the kitchen counter and floor. Then the trip to the hospital for seven stitches on his thumb from slicing onions. 

Stay focused that was the key. Pay attention and the knife won't slip.  Food for thought, stomach and soul, Billy said to himself. He was mindfully aware of peeling. Letting other thoughts come and go such as making a gin and tonic, or anticipating the inevitable stupid conversations from family seen mostly at funerals, weddings and holidays. So he kept on peeling and prepping for the chef. His wife, who would make the mashed potatoes. An accomplishment that will, no doubt, feel good and taste great

I won't go hungry either. It was as much for the soul as the stomach. The metaphor of peeling under the skin of meaning wasn't lost on Billy. There was a deep satisfaction from making some thing that was also calming. Simply paying attention to this simple task. 

It was also Thanksgiving. Peel it back and giving thanks for everything this past year. As bad as it was, and it was pretty bad at times, it could have been much worse. A cliche, but nevertheless true, Billy thought.

Then have the drink. Sit at the table with food on everyone's plate along with some stupid and not so stupid conversation was something to be thankful for.

Right here, right now. Happy Thanksgiving.

The Big Disappointment

Billy woke to sounds of plastic beating in the wind outside his window. The workman left it to cover the brick work that had yet to be finished. The ring of tape around the windowsill didn't hold and he wondered how much rain water would get in. He'd need a stick to lean out the window on the 8th floor and try and secure it but he thought not.

It used to be he was gung-ho to fix up other peoples sloppy work. Not today, he thought. Must be a paradigm shift. Was he slightly depressed at the thought of living in this run-down apartment and that he had no control over the slow decay? Generally speaking living at The Gentry Apartments had been frustrating. Screw it, he thought. The building was poorly constructed. It needed new windows, insulation, waterproofing, a new roof and new elevators. Owners were unwilling to pay so he resigned himself to the status quo. Not depression he ruminated. If he recognized the futility of wishing things could be different then that didn't qualify as depression. Yet if he didn't engage himself in some thing it would be.

Besides, his stomach hurt from eating too much food last night and he was thinking about not going to work today because the school didn't call. What would it be? A rainy day at home thinking about a paradigm shift. Better go workout.